


Lost in Translation

by dementorsatemysoup



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M, Mild Angst, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mistaken for Being in a Relationship, Past Rodney/Keller, Post-Series, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-20
Updated: 2015-09-20
Packaged: 2018-04-19 08:07:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4739006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dementorsatemysoup/pseuds/dementorsatemysoup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The four times Sheppard and McKay get mistaken for a couple (and the one time John does something about it)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost in Translation

**Author's Note:**

> Ugh, I don't know.
> 
> Thanks for reading :)

**P39-024**

The question catches Sheppard off guard. One moment he's standing outside a little hut, waiting for Rodney, and the next a small child sidles up to him and asks, "Is Doctor McKay your betrothed?"

His hand slips on his P90, the strap the only thing keeping the gun from dropping to the ground, and he coughs softly. "Excuse me?"

"Doctor McKay." The kid gestures behind her, towards the hut. John peeks inside, his eyes settling on McKay, his back to the two as he checks over something on his tablet. Sheppard shifts his attention back to the girl and she beams up at him. "Mother says I should not ask, but I could not help it."

"Uh, I, I mean Rodney and I, uh..." John is saved the trouble of explaining when the child's mother calls her name. She waves and runs away, leaving Sheppard a little flabbergasted.

"You alright?" Rodney's voice startles John and he turns to greet his friend with a tight smile.

"Yeah," he answers glancing around, trying to find the little girl, but she's already run off somewhere. "Everything is totally fine."

McKay is quiet for a moment, clearly not buying what Sheppard is selling, but he lets it go with a shrug and excitedly says, "Come look at these equations I found. Makes earth math look like child's play." He hurries back into the hut without a backwards glance, knowing Sheppard would follow him anywhere, and sure enough John pivots on his heel and trails after McKay, pushing the little girl's question to the back of his mind and deciding to pretend she never asked. She's a kid, she saw something that she misinterpreted, he has no reason to put too much thought into it.

Everything is fine.

* * *

**P3X-734  
**

Everything is _not_ fine. Sheppard's ears are ringing and he can't breathe, his team lost in the black smoke surrounding him. He coughs, trying to call out to his friends, but he can't quite make his voice work. It had been Ronon who spotted the bomb first, warning the others the moment they stepped out of the 'gate, and they had scattered seconds before the world exploded. Teyla had been near John, he's sure he saw her, but he doesn't know which direction Ronon and Rodney had gone, his stomach in knots as he tries desperately to find them.

He hears coughing and someone call, "John? Ronon? Rodney?"

"Teyla," John calls back, his voice hoarse, but he knows she hears him, appearing at his side a few seconds later.

"Where are-" she trails off into a coughing fit, bending in half, trying to catch her breath. She straightens a few moments later and tries again. "Where are the others?"

"I don't know."

He squints through the smoke, blearily trying to find Ronon and McKay, coughing so hard his chest starts to ache. He feels Teyla pull on his jacket and he turns, giving her a questioning look, and she responds by pointing at something in the distance. He follows her finger, watching as a hulking figure staggers towards them, a weird hump on its back. Sheppard reaches for his gun, unsure if the thing is friend or foe, only to release it when he realizes it's Ronon carrying Rodney on his back.

John staggers forward, Teyla on his heels, but skids to a halt when a brittle looking man appears at Ronon's side. There's a white cloth covering his face and he's wringing his hands, but he doesn't seem to be much of a threat. It still doesn't stop John's hand from hovering over his gun.

The man raises his hands slowly, trying to show Sheppard he isn't a threat, and says, "I'm here to help."

Ronon spares him a single, dirty look, but he doesn't say anything, instead directing his attention back to John. They share a quick, silent conversation, both trying to decide what they want to do, but it's Teyla who makes the decision for them. "You are willing to help our friend?" She gestures to Rodney, who appears to be unconscious, using her free hand to wave smoke out of her face.

"All of you," the man responds quickly. "This," he gestures at the smoke that's slowly dissipating, "wasn't meant for you." _No, shit,_ John can't help thinking. "Please, let me help."

Sheppard looks around, hoping to find the DHD, his stomach sinking slightly when he sees it in pieces not too far away. He's not even sure if Rodney can fix this, or when he'll be up to trying, and Atlantis isn't going to contact them for another two hours. They really had no other option, especially if McKay really needs help, so he sighs and nods. The man hurries away from the smoke and Sheppard's team quickly follows him.

Silently John hopes he hasn't made a mistake.

* * *

It turns out the planet is dealing with some sort of civil war. The man that had found them belonged to the north side, the same side that set up the bomb in hopes of catching their enemies off guard. They hadn't been expecting John's team, and he's getting a little tired of all the apologies. He just wants to know if Rodney is alright. He paces outside of the small room that Rodney had disappeared into a half an hour ago, healers pushing him and the rest of his team out before they even had the chance to follow McKay inside, and they hadn't heard anything since. He doesn't know what he'll do if there's something seriously wrong with McKay, doesn't know how he'll react, and that scares him a little bit.

"Relax," Teyla murmurs resting a hand on his, halting his movements, gently pulling his fingers off the safety of his P90 (he hadn't even been aware his hand had been hovering over it). "I am sure he's fine."

"And if not..." Ronon pats his holstered gun, shrugging when Teyla shoots him a look. "It's set to stun," he adds before muttering, "maybe."

John opens his mouth to argue but snaps it shut when the man from earlier, Tolen, exits the small room. His eyes flicker between Teyla and Ronon for a moment before eventually settling on Sheppard. He offers John a weak smile and says, "He will be sore for a while, but he appears to be fine."

Relief floods Sheppard and he practically sags against the wall. He runs a hand down his face, giving himself a moment, and is grateful when Teyla asks, "May we see him?"

"Of course," Tolen responds gesturing them towards the room. Ronon and Teyla move first, both already in the room when Sheppard finally pushes himself off the wall. He steps forward, nearly running into Tolen, halting when his arm is grabbed. He looks down at Tolen, giving him a wary look, and he says, "It is frowned upon, in this society, but I will keep your secret."

"What are you talking about?" John asks slowly, taking a step away from Tolen.

"You and Doctor McKay," Tolen replies lowering his voice. "The elders do not agree with it, at least not on the north side, but I will not tell them. I promise." He offers John another small smile, giving him a noncommittal head twitch, and hurries away before Sheppard can question him further.

* * *

** P62-X559 **

John's team is grounded until Rodney recovers, giving them a lot of downtime. McKay bitches the entire time about serious internal bleeding, even after  _both_ Beckett and Keller clear him for active duty, and it takes the combined effort of Sheppard, Teyla,  _and_  Ronon to get him to come on the next mission. John gets it, to a degree. Rodney almost died,  _again_ , and this time by complete accident. Of course, he doesn't want to go through the Gate, but they've nearly died a million times, usually without warning, and it never stopped his team from going off world before.

McKay's anxiety settles a little the moment they re-materialize on the new planet and the world doesn't explode around them, and by the time they're halfway to the village he has resumed his usual complaining about the insect life.

"I'm just saying," he starts swatting at another bug, "these things could have viruses we've never heard of. Why hasn't anyone ever brought this up before? We could be getting exposed to  _anything_."

"Someone  _has_ brought this up before," John reminds McKay, waving something that looks like a fly away.

"Who?" Rodney retorts defiantly.

"You," the others say and leave him gaping wordlessly as they continue on ahead. By the time he catches up, they've already been greeted by a group of women.

The village leader, Asha, immediately looks to Teyla, completely ignoring the guys, and John takes that as his queue to back off. He allows Teyla to take point on this, wandering away, grabbing Rodney's arm when he opens his mouth to, no doubt, say something he thinks is helpful but will probably just piss a lot of people off. Sheppard drags McKay behind him, ignoring the grumbling, and gently pushes him down onto a bench, sitting next to him.

"A lot of women here," Ronon comments taking a seat to John's left, his eyes flickering around the square.

"I noticed," John replies nodding.

"Place seems to be run better than your planet," Ronon adds with a smug smile on his face.

"I also noticed." Ronon isn't wrong, John scans the immediate area. Women are scattered around, doing the usual everyday chores to keep the place running, everyone working together like a well oiled machine, some chatting animatedly to one another while a select few keep throwing them wary looks, no doubt wondering why three men have come to their quaint little village. John smiles and waves, trying to appear friendly, but he's not very successful. Clearly, this isn't a planet where men are in charge and, if he's being honest, he doesn't blame any of these women one bit.

"Just thought I'd point that out."

They sit silently for a while, Rodney offering John half of the energy bar he removed from his pocket, and Sheppard can't help giving him a worried look, wondering if Rodney hit his head at some point.

"What? You skipped breakfast."

"Rodney," Sheppard states slowly, "not once in the eight years I've known you have you ever offered me half of your food. You feeling okay?"

"I am fully capable of sharing my food," McKay argues looking offended. "And  _yes,_ I feel fine."

"I'll take it," Ronon volunteers reaching for the bar.

"No." Rodney snatches the bar back, swatting Ronon's hand. "You inhaled three of these on the way here."

Ronon narrows his eyes at McKay for a few seconds, but he lets it go with an ominous smile, looking away from Rodney. McKay stares at him warily, scooting a few inches down the bench, putting more space between himself and Ronon.

Teyla and Asha wrap up their conversation a short while later, both exiting a small cottage and moving towards the three men. Once in hearing distance, Teyla speaks first, "Asha has agreed to speak with Mr Woosley about a possible trade."

"Yes," Asha starts looking between the men, hands clasped in front of her, shoulders drawn back, clearly showing that she is still in charge despite their appearance in her village, "it is not often we trade with men, but Teyla has assured me you are all harmless." Her eyes dart to Ronon after that last bit before settling on John. "Tell this Mister Woosley to contact me with a viable time we can meet."

"Will do," Sheppard readily agrees, getting to his feet. "It was very nice to meet you, Asha." He offers her his hand, but she just stares at it, so he lets it drop a few seconds later. "Alright." 

* * *

It takes a few more visits before the women in Asha's village warm up to John, Ronon, and Rodney (though it's debatable if they actually  _do_ get used to Rodney), but eventually the three men receive a few kind smiles as they pass through the streets, while a couple women openly wave and greet them. Ronon gets dragged away by a group of smaller girls the moment they see him, his hair fascinating to the children, and John smiles when he hears one little girl mention flowers. Teyla and Woosley disappear next, following Asha and a few others into a nearby house so they can start negotiating terms for future trade.

"Wonder what they have to eat here," Rodney says from John's immediate right, his breath hot against the back of Sheppard's neck.

John shakes off the sudden shiver that rushes down his spine with a shrug and replies, "No idea, and don't ask." He turns, fixing Rodney with a narrow eyed stare, and points an index finger at him. "We are barely on good terms with these women. Don't say something potentially sexist."

"When have I  _ever_ said anything sexist?"

Sheppard sighs, not having the patience for this conversation right now, and settles on: "Just behave, McKay."

Rodney scoffs but doesn't respond, crossing his arms tightly against his chest and pointedly looking away from John. He's quiet for a full minute before uncrossing his arms and stating, "Look, I will admit, some of the stuff I say could be construed as sexist, but I have the utmost respect for all women."

"I know you do, Rodney," John concedes with a small nod, "but sometimes you lack a brain to mouth filter. Something that has gotten you into trouble on more than one occasion. So, just watch what you say. Please."

"Fine."

McKay wanders away a few moments later, attracted by the bread baskets that are lain out on a nearby table, and John finds himself alone on this planet for the first time since exiting the Stargate. He rocks back on his heels, glancing down at his watch, only to take a step back when he finds a pair of large, brown eyes staring at him, a slight girl standing a bit too close to him. Recovering quickly, John offers her a smile and says, "Hi."

"It is uncommon, what you and Doctor McKay share."

John knows he's going to regret asking, but he can't help it. "What we share?"

"It's not that uncommon among the women," she continues as if he hadn't said anything, "we have relations all the time, but men." She shrugs and smiles, adding, "It's a nice surprise, if I am being honest."

"What? Rodney and I..." John trails off, rubbing the back of his neck, startled at how hot it feels. "I mean, we're not..."

"Oh," she looks over his shoulder, her eyes settling on someone, and she lowers her voice, "do your friends not know yet?"

"What?" Sheppard glances behind him, following her gaze, and he spots Ronon a few yards away, sitting patiently while the tallest of the kids puts a flower crown on his head. John looks back at her, shaking his head. "No, it's not..."

"Don't worry," she says, lowering her voice, "your secret is safe with me."

As she walks away, John can't help wondering why people keep mistaking him and Rodney as a couple.

* * *

** **P7X-409** **

Rodney hasn't said anything all morning. This should be cause for celebration, a quiet McKay, but nothing good ever happens when Rodney McKay is silent, and John would be lying if he said he isn't a little worried. He's not the best at the whole 'feelings' thing, second worse to the man moping around Atlantis like he's been through a break up, but Sheppard knows that he has to at least try talking to McKay. The man is his best friend, something that still takes him by surprise sometimes, and he can't let him suffer.

That's easier said than done, John finding it exceedingly difficult to get Rodney alone long enough to ask if he's alright, but the opportunity is sort of thrust upon him later that day after they go off world.

After a brief, but warm, greeting from the city elders, they're given free reign of the city. Teyla and Ronon immediately melt into the crowd, the former vaguely mentioning something about the local history tomes in the library, leaving Sheppard and McKay alone. John isn't sure whether to be annoyed or grateful to Teyla for planning this on the fly, opting to decide later.

He turns to Rodney and asks, “You wanna take a walk?” McKay shrugs, but follows John outside, his hands buried in his BDU pants, his head down, watching his feet.

For a while, neither one say anything, Sheppard searching for the right words to say while McKay seems to get even quieter, almost burrowing in on himself. John's worry spikes tenfold and he hears himself blurt out, “You're not dying again, are you?”

“What?” Rodney stops, giving John a horrified look. “What did you hear? Am I dying again?” He clutches at his throat, looking about ready to pass out. “This week keeps getting better and better,” he mutters sarcastically, whimpering softly.

“Rodney, hey,” John grabs his shoulders, halting the panic attack that's about to take hold, “you're fine. I was just...” Sheppard trails off, sighing. “You've been quiet. That's all.”

“Are you kidding me?” McKay hisses wrenching himself out of John's loose grasp. “You make me believe I'm _dying_ because I've been quiet?”

“You're never quiet,” John retorts crossing his arms defensively. “And I didn't make you believe anything.”

“I'll have you know, Sheppard, that I am fully capable of being quiet.” Rodney begins pacing, mumbling softly under his breath, John only catching a few words. Jackass and sonofabitch crop up more than once. Finally, Rodney calms down enough to slow his pacing and he snaps, “Other than scaring the shit out of me, why did you ask me to take a walk with you?”

“Rodney I didn't...” John trails off, knowing McKay will never let this go if he doesn't change the subject, and instead says, “I was just wondering what was up? You know? With you?”

“Well,” Rodney starts coming to a complete stop, “as far as I _know_ I am not dying. Unless you heard something.”

“I promise I didn't.”

He's skeptical for a brief second, but Rodney finally relaxes a bit, nodding his head. “Alright.”

They stand there awkwardly for a beat, Rodney chewing on his the inside of his cheek while John rocks on his heels. McKay breaks the silence first, huffing softly. He shoves his hands in his pockets again and bitterly states, “If you _must_ know, Jennifer got engaged last night.”

“I'm sorry, buddy.”

McKay lifts his shoulders, a defeated look on his face. “Should have seen this coming. She's been getting serious with that marine for a while. And he's okay with staying on earth. It's more than I could do for her.”

John reaches out, hesitating for a second before setting his hand on Rodney's shoulder, squeezing it. “The best you can hope for is she's happy.”

“She seems happy with him,” McKay admits, albeit begrudgingly, fiddling with his life sign's detector. “She told me they're getting married next summer, wants me to come to the wedding.”

“You don't have to,” John points out but not unkindly. “Look,” he adds, still very much aware of his hand on Rodney's shoulder but not quite ready to remove it yet, “I'm the last person to ask for relationship advice. Nancy was the only women I was ever serious with and that turned out about as well as expected.”

His divorce hadn't been a surprise, especially when he put his career before anyone else, and he and Nancy are in a better place now, but sometimes he still wonders what would have happened if he had put her first more often. He wonders if they'd have still been together and he _knows_ , for a fact, he wouldn't have come to Atlantis, met his family. Met Rodney.

“My point,” he continues mentally shaking off that last thought, “is if next summer you feel up to going, then go, but if you don't I think she'll understand.”

“You know, when you start making sense I always have to check and make sure the world isn't ending,” Rodney jests softly, after a brief pause.

“You're a real comedian, McKay,” John retorts dropping his hand to his side, pushing away the fact that he misses the contact. He nods towards the city, silently asking if Rodney's coming.

“In a minute.”

“Alright, but I'll be around if you need me.”

“I'll keep that in mind.”

Sheppard starts the long walk back by himself, risking a quick glance over his shoulder, watching as Rodney settles down on a rock and looks out over a small lake he hadn't noticed before. He's tempted to go back, sit with his friend for a while, but he also knows McKay needs to be alone for a while, so he fights the urge and continues onward.

He's stopped a short way later, a hand clamping down on his arm, and his hand is on his knife seconds before he realizes it's just Ronon. Heart pounding in his chest, he releases the hilt of his blade, and says, “Damn it, Ronon, I could have stabbed you.”

“No you couldn't,” Ronon retorts with a smug grin.

“No, I couldn't,” John admits with a tired nod. “What's up? Get bored with Teyla?”

“There's only so much reading I can do.” He glances back at McKay, an unreadable expression on his face. “He okay?”

“He will be.” Sheppard follows Ronon's gaze, watching as Rodney gets up quickly, agitated with a small bird that keeps flapping around him, waving his hands wildly.

Ronon suddenly laughs softly, startling John, turning his attention back to him, and says, “Was asked a weird question earlier.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. One of the elders asked if they should make up a room for you and McKay. So you didn't have to leave the city to be alone. I think they thought you were a couple.” He clasps Sheppard on the shoulder again, an amused look on his face. “I gotta admit, you could do worse,” he adds before letting his hand drop and walking away.  John feels his face heat up, but he knows, deep down, it's not from embarrassment, but he decides not to deal with it right now.

Or ever.

* * *

******Atlantis**  
** **

In the eight years he's known him, John's never given his feelings for Rodney much thought. They became friends fairly quickly, way faster than Sheppard thought they would, bonding over the trinkets and secrets that Atlantis had to offer. Their friendship became stronger when they brought chess, math, comic books, and science into the mix (Rodney had been surprised when he found out physics fascinated John almost as much as it fascinated him), and then the whole 'saving each others' asses' thing became a regular occurrence for the both of them, making McKay Sheppard's first best friend in years. Bringing feelings into the mix would only complicate what they already had, or worse, ruin it, and that's the last thing John wants.

On that note, he can't seem to squish that small, tiny ray of hope that says they could make whatever they are work. That ray of hope had no problem with the fact that Rodney had only been with  women over the past eight years nor that he had never shown any indication that he saw Sheppard as anything other _than_ a friend. Add that to the fact that John is just now discovering these repressed feelings, and it's a mystery why the small flame hasn't fizzled out by now.

He doesn't even know why he's here, standing in front of Rodney's lab. It's well past midnight, most of the city asleep, and he really should start that paperwork (ugh) he hasn't done yet, but Sheppard can't bring himself to walk away. He clenches his hands into fists, hesitates another moment, and finally forces his feet to propel him forward. He finds Rodney buried under a mountain of alien tech, fingers a blur as they fly across his keyboard.

He doesn't look up when Sheppard walks into his lab, but he must sense him because he says, "If Zelenka sent you here to tell me to go to bed tell him to fuck off."

"He didn't," John replies burying his hands in his pockets, leaning against the door frame. "What are you working on?"

"Too much." Rodney still hasn't looked up, his eyebrows creasing when he runs into a problem. "Be so much easier if Radek didn't keep interrupting me every thirty minutes. It's a battle between him and Carson over who's the biggest mother hen."

"Well, if you're busy..." John turns to go, but stops when Rodney calls him back.

"Clearly you're here for a reason. So make it quick." McKay picks up something that looks like a circuit board, turning it over in his hands, still staring at his computer, frustration flashing across his face.

"It's nothing." Sheppard ruffles his hair, knowing he should just leave Rodney alone to work. "Just wondering if you wanted to get something to eat."

Rodney's head snaps up so quickly it's any wonder his neck doesn't crack, panic, fear, and, what looks like, underlying hope flickering in his eyes, the circuit board slipping from his fingers and landing with a quiet _thump_  on his desk. "Why..." he clears his throat, rubbing the back of his neck with his left hand. "Why would you wonder that?"

John shrugs, pulling at a piece of string on his shirt sleeve. He wills his heart to slow down, trying to convince himself he hadn't actually  _seen_  anything other than panic and fear, but it's a lost cause, his little ray growing slightly. For a moment, his tongue feels too big for his mouth, but he forces himself to say, "You're busy, though, so don't worry..."

He pivots on his heel, intending to try and leave again, but stops when McKay quickly says, "I could, uh, I could eat."

Fighting a smile, John nods. "Alright. Let's go."

Rodney is at his side in a second, following him out of the lab, already talking about the tech sitting on his desk, and by the time they get to the mess hall, John is agreeing to help him with it after they eat.

He's not sure what they are, has no intention of bringing it up tonight, but he still sure of one _huge_  thing. That whatever he and Rodney become, even if they stay friends, he'd follow McKay anywhere, and he knows that Rodney would do the same for him. It's at that moment, he gets why everyone kept mistaking them for a couple and he can't help shaking his head, amused.

"What?" Rodney raises his eyebrows, obviously wanting to know what Sheppard finds so funny.

"Nothing."

God, they're such a cliche.


End file.
